Hello!

This isn’t a “mom” blog. It isn’t a “religious” blog either. It’s not a “how-to” article, a “10 ways to know that..” or a recipe box. I’m not selling anything or judging anyone. This blog won’t win a teacher of the year award. It won’t solve all your dinner time problems. This blog is mostly for me. It is the outward expression of my inward monologue. Read More

August Meal Planning

Control what you can… y’all I’m an obsessive meal planner, not my choice but necessity. (I have one kid with a limited sensory diet and whenever I cook I’m basically making two different meals. And that is pretty hard to just figure out on the fly.)

I love the idea of meal planning but it’s exhausting, and I get decision fatigue. I’ve tried everything and I have the Pinterest boards to prove it.

Emily Ley had this idea of theme meal days and basic meal planning I’ve implemented since January after I read her book A Simplified Life. Thanks to Covid Grocery issues, I had to really, really, really, plan through March and April. (And cry… I can’t be the only one who cried at the grocery store) By May and June, I started writing everything down in my teacher planner (it wasn’t getting used) and now I have a pretty sustainable routine.

So, when I ordered my teacher planner, I ordered a meal planner. And to reduce decision fatigue, I sat down an planned out all my meals for August. And one day I was frustrated so I put my energy to good use and meal prepped several freezer meals.

I’m sharing with you in case you want to steal some ideas and reduce your meal planning stress. Please note: I don’t eat Keto, or Vegan, or anything fancy, but rather mostly real food for a preschooler and picky husband. And for August I picked the easiest recipes. Don’t judge.

My Non Expert Tips:

1. Theme you meal days. You can create themes based off cuisine: Mexican, Italian, American, Chinese. Or you could do it off of cooking method: easy, crockpot, instapot, sheet pan meals. Or whatever works for your family. (You can always change it up if you get bored)

2. Write down (or create different Pinterest boards) for all the recipes you have based on these themes. You can use my Pinterest boards! Slow Cooker Sunday Italian Night Casseroles Taco Tuesday Friday Fun Night Make it Easy Monday

3. Plan a month at a time if you can. Don’t shop everything but plan out your ideas. Leave a few days blank so you can “bump” a meal if your plans change (get invited over for dinner, go out) We typically have leftovers so I try to schedule a leftover lunch/meal day. Plan our what you will need to shop for each week. This way when you go to the store or like me shop create your cart online, you don’t have to think as much.

4. Identify what you can prep ahead of time: some casseroles are easy to freeze. I use foil pans and flash freeze them. (That’s just a fancy way to say I but it all together but before you would typically bake the casserole, put it in the freezer without a lid or sealing it. This lets it freeze without steam buildup that would cause frostbite. Then, once it’s frozen cover and seal up tight. I use both cling wrap and then foil. ) Some ready to cook meals can be stored easily in gallon bags and laid flat to freeze for easy storage: meats in marinades, chili, soups, Instapot meals.

5. Organize your fridge and freezer do you can actually find your food. This is big for me… stuff gets lost and wasted in our fridge otherwise. I bought this fun bin from amazon: BINO Stackable Plastic Organizer Storage Bins

6. Communicate to your family know what’s for dinner. This just helps… everything. We keep a white board calendar for our schedule and meals.

See how that goes and adjust. My big goal is to make meals simpler, yet enjoyable. Whatever this month holds… we won’t be left hungry.

Except… I haven’t even started planning lunches yet!!! Eek! But maybe I can wing it. 😀

Back to School Shopping

I’m super excited about this planner. Why? It’s beautiful. It organized. It feels like exactly what I need. It’s also the first back to school item I bought. Typically by August 1st, I have already done ALL my back to school shopping. This year… I have been waiting, unsure what to buy when staring a back-to-school year unlike others.

Not sure about you, but I’m a planner. I like a schedule. I like knowing exactly what to expect. Not having these things sends me spiraling. Basically… I like being in control. But truthfully, I’ve never actually been in control. But I have created the illusion of control. With that illusion gone, I’m needing more than ever to lean into Truth.

I was inspired a few weeks ago by another person’s post encouraging teachers to write in pencil because lesson plans, schedules, and modes of instruction may change. We need to be flexible. But there are things we can write in pen: God’s truth, our firm foundation.

Metaphorically, I’m writing my school plan in pencil. (I use gel pens and color code everything so really I’m just going to use white out but pencil is a better comparison.)

What will I write in pen?

Truth: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Blank pages, blank canvases, and the unknown can be scary to look at. But, it can also be so incredibly full of potential. So as I stare at the blank pages of a beautiful but empty planner, I will think on what is true, just, pure, lovely, excellent and worthy of praise.

What is true: I can write out my faith, in the form of bible verse, in the margins to anchor me when plans change.

What is excellent: I can write inspirational quotes in my margins too. Others who have gone before me can encourage my journey.

What is lovely: my family time. Our pillow fort Friday, movie nights, Taco Tuesday and camping trips. I can be intentional. Too long I’ve bought into the lie that during the school year I can give 110 percent to my students because I will have summer and holidays with my family. Rather than waiting for it to slow down or be fixed, I want to enjoy my family in the moment and not let them get lost in the shuffle.

What is praiseworthy: I can write down when something goes well. (Or put a pretty sticker by it 😀)

I can also live out the truth that this is just a season. Albeit, an incredibly sucky one filled with disappointments. Just like seasons in nature change this season to will change. Something else will emerge, shift, or change. So prayerfully, I can have full faith that by the end of this particular season, after this planner has been filled and well used, I will be a better version of myself: stronger, more flexible, and more faithful.

What are you doing to think on what is true and lovely?

Do you have a bible verse or quote I could add to my planner?

Get Out of Your Head

Coffee, cookies, and quiet time. (Okay, it’s not quiet… my kids are watching cartoons)

Memes and jokes aside, many of us are facing uncertainties that evoke fear and anxiety. I am not exempt. This year I had been reading lots of books on simplifying, being intentional, and creating healthy rhythms. A few weeks ago, I started this book with a friend: Get Out of Your Head; Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts. I have an internal monologue running in my head pretty much non-stop so this book seemed like a good fit. I paired it with a bible study for Lent: Made for This; 40 days to Living your Purpose.

This week the chapters and lessons actually hit the nail on the head addressing the way many of us might be feeling.

We have a choice.

We can interrupt our toxic thoughts.

We can choose to be grateful.

We can choose to see beauty.

We can choose joy.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Philippians 4:4-9 ESV

(Just to add perspective, Paul wrote this while in prison with a death sentence on his head)

But how? Here are a few practical things I have been doing to stay out of my head:

Stay busy. I’m a homebody anyways, but I have little projects around the house I’ve been doing. I’m gardening, cleaning out the kids closets, and organizing. I even set up a little “work from home” area.

Rest and Routines. I’ve been making sure I get enough sleep and taken a few naps with my kids. I’ve tried to stay on a typical schedule as much as I can. Even on a regular Spring Break, I have to keep regular wake up times, and routines.
Exercise. Personally, I hate exercise. (I made a C in PE once.) But I do enjoy walking, gardening, and being outside.
Write. Writing is my method for getting out of head. Even if no one reads this, that’s fine; I write mostly for me.
Connect. I’ve been text messaging friends more often than I usually do. I’ve called to check on family. And mostly talking with my kids. My 3 year old is currently saying I’m her best friend.
Reduce the noise. While I use social media to connect to friends, I have limited the time I spend online. Also, I’ve only been checking the news twice a day. And not at all after 8pm.
Watch. We have been watching family movies each evening. This helps me stay off my phone or news at night. Plus, ending the day snuggled up on the couch is awesome.
Read. Bible books in the morning but fiction later in the day. Currently reading the fiction book The Great Alone by Kristen Hannah on kindle. It’s set in the 70’s as a dysfunctional family attempt to start a new life in Alaska.

What are you doing to stay out of your head?

Resources:

Get Out of Your Head:Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts https://www.amazon.com/dp/1601429649/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_LzJDEb7JBXA05

Made for This: Made for This: 40 Days to Living Your Purpose https://www.amazon.com/dp/0785229078/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_MAJDEbTSG47ZS

The Great Alone: The Great Alone: A Novel https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250229537/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_vxJDEbVCBPD5J

My word for the year 2020: simplify

I’ve been simmering on my word for the year for awhile. I really get into words. (I’m a little nerdy that way) In the past, my word has always been a verb, and action I can take. And I pair it with a Bible verse to focus on.

2017 Breathe.

2018 Thrive.

2019 Persevere.

My life is really good, but I still struggle with being overwhelmed, worn out, wanting to do more, help everyone, be all the things and have “it” together. Our culture puts a lot of noise in our lives too. My life is full of “stuff” and I just want to live simply and fully this year.

My word for the year: simplify. Because what God expects from me is quite simple and I love how The Message phrases it:

“But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what GOD is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don’t take yourself too seriously— take God seriously.”

Micah 6:8 MSG

And God does not want me to be overwhelmed, worn out, or wrapped up in my self.

Do what is right

Love being kind

Live humbly

Micah 6:8

Simplify isn’t just what I need to remove, pair down, or make simple. It is also what I want to add to my life: simple things. Things that are good and needed.

Simplify: make (something) simpler or easier to do or understand.

Simplify my home (organization and less stuff)

Simplify our routines and schedule (simple charts, extra time, less rush)

Simplify my faith (more focus, prayer, bible study, church community and journaling… and for me that means print bible studies and my paper Bible)

Simplify my social media (less time scrolling and only meaningful posts.)

So I’m planning to simplify daily and craft the life I’ve been given.

My recommended reading for simplifying

Live in Grace Walk in Love by Bob Goff
When Less Becomes More by Emily Ley
A Simplified Life by Emily Ley

Is there anything you would suggest for me to read?

Books Fix Everything: Resources to Fill Your Cup and Renew Your Spirit.

As a teacher, I had a back to school August so long and hard it bled into September and even a little bit of October. As a parent of a child with special needs, my son’s back to school start was also hard, however still way easier than years prior. But it still required additional effort and planning. And to add to all of that, my family was plagued by a season of mild sickness, one strep throat, ear infection and flu bug after another. My son battles seizures and can’t regulate his body temperature during sickness. So his simple sickness had more layers than a typical kiddo. With all of that, I found that I was sprinting my way through a rough season on very little sleep.

In order to regain my footing I did what any good English teacher would do, I bought three books and decided to read them all at once. (Books fix everything, right?) I wanted to fill my cup, because it was empty.

And guess what… a little over a month later, my cup is fuller. I’m not running on empty. It wasn’t magic and no one book or thing fixed everything, But by engaging in thoughtful discussion with these authors, my mindset shifted and I gleaned a few things to apply to my life.

These are a few of the books and resources really speaking to me right now:

The Lucky Few

This is a book I received as a gift last year. I started it then put in down. While I was sick with what felt like the flu 6 weeks ago, I picked this book back up. I devoured it over the course of three days. I didn’t realize how much I would have in common with a mother of three adopted children, two with Down’s syndrome. I could relate to her struggles. One quote spoke to my heart. “Just because something is hard, it doesn’t mean it’s bad.” I think this is counter cultural. We seek easy, convenient, and pleasurable. Having a kiddo with special needs is hard. Juggling sick kids and work, also hard. But it’s not bad. My kids are awesome. Typical sickness is normal, despite my son’s struggles with fevers and seizures. My job is important and meaningful. My family is beyond blessed, even in a rough season. Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s bad.

You are the Girl for the Job

This book is amazing. Like, I read chapter 10 and just started crying. I feel called to my job as a teacher, yet at times it can be incredibly hard. I could easily find a desk job that is less stressful. I want to please everyone, and I’m plagued with fear and doubting if I’m even doing the right thing. (Okay, maybe that’s the same way I feel towards parenting) The illustrations in this book will remind you God is God. He is the hero, but we are the gals he has called to bring light and life to a world where he has placed us on mission. (Pg 65) What if the circumstances we fear the most are the ones that will afford us the most abundance? (Pg160) Sounds a lot like the “What is hard, isn’t necessarily bad.” quote from The Lucky Few.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

“I can affirm that you are the girl for the job because God has placed you right where you are, with all that you have, for a purpose.” (Pg 249) If you are needing encouragement, this book is the book.

Rhythms of Renewal and Grace

Filled with rhythms of resting, restoring, connections, and creating. It’s practical advice and self evaluation. These rhythms are intended to replace stress and anxiety with life giving purpose. (Pg 21) Just a good reminder that I have to fill my own cup in order to be the person I’m designed to be. “You cannot run if you cannot rest.” (Pg 76) This is the only book I haven’t completely finished. It’s longer and the text is deeper. It’s takes longer to read… in a good way. You need time to process and reflect as you read. I’ve finished the first two rhythms: rest and restore. I’m moving forward into create and connect.

I love her thought that we don’t just do rest and restore for self care, self actualization, or just our own benefit. But rather to fulfill God’s purposes of benefiting and engaging the world around us. (Pg 156) You know the saying, you can’t help others if… you can’t help yourself. Or the illustration that you put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before you can save those around you. So I’m focusing on rest and restoration!

Stretched Too Thin

The author’s voice is more logical than I would typically enjoy, but it is so practical and removes “mom guilt.” So many motherhood books based on faith make me feel guilty for working. This book is for the working mom and acknowledges the real stress and struggles without suggesting you just quit your job and stay home. It reminds me I am a value to my family for working, but balances that with self evaluation and ways to set yourself up for success.

Unexpected challenges easily push us over the edge when we are feeling stressed.” (Pg 69) Yep, I’m always one sick kid away from losing my marbles!

“There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” I love this quote!

Nothing she says is ground breaking, but was refreshing and a good reminder. I especially liked the reflections after each chapter: A place to journal and evaluate your situation.

Made for This (Season 2 – Podcast)

Based off her bible study Stuck, this season is focused on identifying and evaluating our emotions, the places we get stuck, and the God who sets us free! Each episode has been enlightening and encouraging. The guest speakers are phenomenal: Jill Briscoe, David Platt, Thelma Wells, Christine Cain and Mark Comer. And I’ve managed to use my 15 minute drive to work as a way to shape my mindset.

Emily Ley’s Teacher Planner

As I sat in a meeting with our campus administrators, I looked down at my planner: pale tan, coffee stained with bent edges. A $10 investment from Target looked like I felt: torn up, used, and broken. (I might be being a little over dramatic… but I swear, October was rough) I felt compelled to change my martyrdom attitude at work and also attempt to be a little more put together. This planner is bright, cheerful, and because I bought it in October, it’s half off. ($30… go buy one now!) I can’t help but smile when I look at it. I mean, I’ll probably still spill coffee on it, but… here is to a fresh start. (Emily Ley also sells planners for busy families and you can sign up for her emails with organization tips and tricks)

All of these books and resources pulled at a specific theme: finding your rhythm.

I love this term and I think I will replace “season of life” as frequently as I can. As a new mom, I would hear, “It’s just a rough season.” I enjoy spring and fall, but we Texans just try to survive August heat and muddle through Winter. I don’t want to “survive” or “muddle through” any season of my life. I want to find a rhythm that works for my family. I want to find rest and restoration, and then move forward so I can create and connect with humanity. I want to trade stress and anxiety for a life of peace and purpose. Life is messy and imperfect, but we are called to find calm in the storm in the arms of our creator.

Schedules, Routines, and Charts, Oh My! Creating Structure During Summer

How to structure your unstructured time, aka summer, from a mom still trying to figure out this crazy thing called parenting.

Why so much structure?

Most young children benefit from visual schedules, behavior charts, and are comforted by routines. Pre Kindergarten teachers are rockstars at this! However, some older children benefit form similar charts, especially those on the spectrum or with behavioral struggles.

My son, who is on the autism spectrum, can go maybe a day or two with less structure. And I can wing structuring just one day at home without a chart. But we have to have a chart to make it the store or even church without a battle. So anytime we have a three day weekend or school break, I have to bump up the structure. Without this structure and routine my child struggles with anger, obsession behaviors, living in his own world (introverted and not communicating) and bathroom accidents.

Creating Better Structure

I thought I did a good job providing structure last summer, but I didn’t plan enough social interaction with kids his age. (My best friends have babies or toddlers And other school age play dates fell through) However, When it came time for my teacher in service (two weeks of training), he bounced from relatives houses during the day without a set structure. And this left him a mess for the first day of school. And our first few weeks of school were… hard. Like epically HARD. My main goal for summer structure is to make the transition back to school less difficult.

Flexible structure

I love structure. I meal plan and lesson plan like a pro! (Only one of those do I have official training in though! And if ever given the chance, I could be completely unstructured and binge watch Netflix with the best of them. ) However, I told our ABA therapist that we struggle with creating such a set structure and then becoming locked into it and not being able to flex and bend. Y’all I have a two year old too. Sometimes things just don’t go as planned! So she gave us some recommendations, and I incorporated them into my planning. One such suggestion: using a white board instead of printed charts; It’s easier to adjust. I opted for chalk board charts and chalk paint pens, but it’s the same idea.

Setting priorities

My chart and routines need to be:

Flexible yet structured

Have planned bathroom breaks (this works for both kids… I’m about to start potty training my two and half year old… Lord help me!)

Give choice and variety at meal time but provide comfort by knowing what to expect. And create less whining at meal time. Yay! (Two year old needs this too!)

Include scheduled social activities

Provide daily outings, but plenty of time at home to stay caught up on cleaning.

A way to monitor behavior through set expectations and self regulation.

So, in an effort to curb undesirable behaviors and include both academic activities and social activities on a daily basis in a flexible, realistic, and manageable manner, I created these basic routine charts.

Meal Charts

I’ve done something like this before only with color bins for each food group and he could pick one item from each bin. But since my son can read now, this worked perfectly.

Breakfast: pick one item off the breakfast shelf plus milk or yogurt. No whining for juice!

Lunch: he gets his standard peanut butter sandwich or crackers plus a protein snack, fruit snack and then chips.

Dinner: A dinner item (my choice) plus his choice of a fruit snack. I do let have a reward for trying new foods… but that’s another post.

An organized pantry

I organized my pantry to reflect theses menu options. Now, my son wants me to add labels to each shelf on our pantry… well maybe. I also moved less desirable food options up higher and hidden in bins. Less whining but without labeling them as bad. I did create specific times we could have them… snack time or as part of healthy choices!

I’m insanely proud of this. Even after a week and a refill on groceries, this organization system works for me.

Daily Routine Chart

I began thinking about our normal flow and just added times. To keep it flexible I just wrote morning activity and afternoon activity. This way each day I can change the activity but the routines are the same. I added a little bit of free play time and movie time to save my sanity. I planned in bathroom breaks and specific times to stop and talk about behavior. (See behavior chart below)

Nap time: so this is where I had to stretch myself. Typically my daughter’s nap time is when my son gets to watch TV, and I get free time to read, write, whatever. I didn’t want to completely give this up, so I’m setting the expectation that he must complete one academic activity (math worksheet, journal, sketch pad drawing, etc.) that I sit one on one with him for. (10-30 minutes at most) And then he can pick a video for the following hour. So… I’m trying!

We wrote this the other day: it took twenty minutes. Heaven bless his teachers!

Weekly Routine Chart

Homeschool mommas are probably better at this than me. If I don’t plan outings and activities, I think I would just stay at home and then blink and a week would have passed and we would have done nothing. This was the best I could come up with. I’m working around my 2 year olds much needed nap time. So the simplest way was to plan an AM activity and PM activity. And we need at least one social outing each day. And I can mix it up each week while some items won’t change.

Behavior Chart

So… I had to actually ask our ABA therapist for a recommendation. Over spring break our strict behavior chart based on tasks was actually locking us into certain activities. And then my daughter got walking pneumonia… again. (She has asthma and week lungs) So my son had a few fits when activities changed. She recommended a self and match behavior system. (And we modified it a bit to fit our needs) Instead of being task based, like many behavior charts we tried before, we list three desired behaviors which can change each day. And after each activity we reflect and “match” I ask how he thought he did; sad face, smiley face or middle face. (We added the middle face) Then, I respond by saying how I thought he behaved. Each smiley face earns two points. But if our faces match… if he acknowledges he did not meet expectations he still gets one point. 5-6 points earn a star. Two stars earn a 5 min break (right now he likes The Pokémon game). Basically this system isn’t all or nothing. And it’s more about reflection to actually create a change in behavior. I keep a chart at home but can recreate it on a whiteboard or paper if we travel. Our ABA therapist is making us a laminated version for travel too.

My simplified version without the grid. And yes, we had one day at the start of summer where we just cleaned the house. It was a mess!

There is so much more to this method than my modified, but works for us, version. Want more info on the self and match system:

The Self & Match System: Systematic Use of Self-Monitoring as a Behavioral Intervention (With Digital Forms)

Instructions

Perseverance

Basically, this is a LONG post to say I’m really trying to stay structured. My word for the year is persevere. Not because I’m a quitter, but this kind of stuff is hard. And we have seen so much improvement, but I don’t foresee a time when this won’t be some variance of hard. My husband bought me this book called Persevering Parent as a gift for us to read together. (Quite the romantic gift right?) I completely acknowledge that not every kid needs this type of planning and structure, but mine does so I’ll do my best to give him what he needs. And I want to share what I learned, because I can’t be the only one!

Schedules, routines, and charts, oh my!

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and Mommy Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia!

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