Radioactive Elephant

Not just another “mom” blog.

Back to School Pictures

 

I love traditions. I especially love traditions that don’t require any consumerism, cost or extra budget.

Many people take “First Day of School” pictures: Pre K, Kindergarten, 3rd grade and even seniors. I love it! I love seeing them on social media, and I even love the parents who have been doing it long enough they have pictures to compare.

That said, I also hate it. Posed pictures don’t always work well for my kiddo. And mornings… they stink! (I feel like I’m getting a teenager out of bed) And the first day of school brings anxiety, stress, new routines and did I mention anxiety?

I’d like to blame it all on my son’s special needs and how “hard” it makes things , but I can’t. I’m a teacher, and first day of school for me is plenty nerve racking on its own. My job is to love, care for, build relationships with and teach kids. More specifically, middle school kids. (Insert your own version of, “Bless your heart.”) I’ve spent hours preparing for my students, setting up my classroom, attending trainings, all while trying to balance that with back to school shopping, creating new visual schedules, going over new routines, and reading “My First Day of School” books for my son.

If life is about balance, then Back to School is like walking a high wire while juggling.

This year, as I planned for my own classroom and students, I slipped away from a training to attend a staffing for my son. I wanted his new teacher to be fully prepared to meet his unique needs. Most of all, I wanted her to know how amazing he is. I left the meeting knowing he had plenty of support and caring teachers.

Tip: if you can meet with your child’s teacher BEFORE school starts, do it! I find that teachers appreciate parent support and involvement. You know your kid best. When passing the torch, it’s good if they know your concerns, and any suggestions you have. I had a parent of one of my students do this, and was the BEST start for an Autistic kiddo I’ve ever had. I knew what worked best for him and most importantly his interests.

On the first day of school, my son’s first day of Kindergarten, we entered a busy school building bustling with parents, teachers and students. The noise, the newness was overwhelming. My son stood still not wanting to go any farther. I left him with his teacher, kissed him goodbye, and I didn’t cry. I trusted in his teacher and her ability to do her job. The day would be hard on him, but hard is a part of life.  (Please note: I cried every day for the first week of Pre-K.)

But I never took a picture.

I never got him to hold a cute sign, stand in front of the school, nor did I even try. I just hurried away to make it to my own classroom in time.

As my day went on, I watched the clock unable to remember the names of my 138 new students. (I have 4 Isabelle’s in one class period! I can’t even!) My mind wandered to thoughts of my son and how he was doing. None the less, he arrived at my school after riding the bus. He was tired, didn’t say much, but seemed okay.

I could have done a “we survived” picture, but it took all my effort to just get home. I basically just forgot. My feet hurt, and as usual, I was loosing my voice from all the talking.

Each day was similarly hard. Eventually, drop offs got easier.

On Wednesday, we had a full on meltdown after school. He cried. I cried. It was messy.

But by Thursday, he finally mentioned school. Well, building a volcano out of wood chips at the playground.

By Friday we gathered as a family, crashed on the couch with take out and a movie.

But still, no pictures.

You see, relationships with teachers, with school, take time to build. And for some they take a little more effort. I may not have a great first day picture, but I know I’ll have an amazing last day of school picture.

When I see last year’s end of Pre-K picture, the one where he was hugging and smiling with his teacher and teaching aide, I have hope.

He isn’t excited about school, he would rather be at home, but by the end of the year, he won’t want to leave.

As for me, I gained 138 new kids this year. They already have my heart. I’ve learned two thirds of their names, but ALL of their faces. We decided on nick names for that Isabelle class. And my feet don’t hurt as much. I look forward into settling into routine, and coming down from this high wire act.

Two weeks later, life settled down. The routine became predictable. He told me about recess, how LOUD gym class is, and how funny his music teacher is. He peacefully walked down the hallway of my school, asking me to take pictures of him spinning.

Right then, we got our “Back to School” picture.

To all those families with special needs, those to whom back to school takes more effort, stay strong. You got this!

When you have moments that are less than Pinterest picture perfect, hold tight to your  joy, and love the life you have.

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!

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When did I become the Veteran Teacher?

My school district has this thing called “New Teacher Orientation”. 4 years ago I took the leap, transitioning from private school to public. Every teacher new to the district attended this extra orientation. I remember my group. I remember the ladies who would join me at teaching at our middle school. We went to trainings together and ate lunch together. It was remenenciat of the first week of college. You found your buddy and hold tight because there is so much new!

Little did I know that many of these ladies would be lifelong friends. I have helped them move, watched their dogs, attended Bible studies together, danced at their weddings, and even held their babies.

But now, my closest friends from that year are ALL gone.

Of the larger group I came in with, many have moved on. Some have stayed home with babies, changed campuses,  changed districts, moved across the country, and some have left the profession altogether.

I’m not suggesting my district has a higher than normal turnover rate. I’m joined at my school by teachers with 15-25 years of experience. For many of them, most of those years are in our district. But for us newbies, it takes time to find your place. And teaching can be a grueling profession. And sometimes your best place isn’t were you start out at.

When I think of a comparable profession l, I think of the medical field. I’ve watched the TV show SCRUBS so I’m obviously an expert. We entered a career as newbies. We had intense working experiences that bound us together. And then, at different points, we had to follow our own path.

This year, I’m the veteran.
This year, I’m mentoring the new teachers.
This year, I’m the expert.

To all the newbies this year: build relationships with your colleagues. You might just find your best friend and your tribe. Your path may change but those friendships are forever.

To all the veterans this year: protect and guide those newbies. Choose your words wisely. You have the power to inspire and build up those around you, but your words and your attitude also has the power to crush and destroy. Many will join a long list of those who leave. But your efforts are not fruitless, you can say you did your part to help them along the way. With any luck, a newbie might just hang around for a long while and become family.

Together, we can do this! 

Words kill, words give life;
they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

Proverbs 18:21 – The Message

Creating Visual Schedules with Google Docs & Saving my Sanity at the Same Time

I can’t say this enough: visual schedules have saved my sanity at home with my little guy.

I knew and used visual schedules when I taught pre-k. I had a pretty fancy one, and I had the students move a paper clip as we progressed though our day. It really helped! After the first few weeks, most kids didn’t NEED it, but a few did. Turns out my kid is that kid. The one that needs the schedule up… all… year… long.

I don’t know why I didn’t create a visual schedule for our home life sooner. It started with potty training. Autism Speaks has some great resources, including a potty training packet with a visual schedule. However, the designer in me thinks most visual schedules are cartoonish, chunky, and not very pretty.

I created my first schedule when my son started Pre-K. The transition was terrifying. Mostly for me! The schedule helped both of us feel prepared.

After my daughter was born six weeks early, our life kinda went completely off a schedule. As long as my son had a schedule at school, I was able to keep a sorta routine in the evenings. But then Thanksgiving break came along a mere 2 weeks after our week in the hospital. Insanity. My husband worked a few days of the break and I had a 3 week old preemie and a Autistic 4 year old all to myself. And I was running on 45minutes of sleep every 3-4 hours. I couldn’t deal, negotiate, or plan. We watched movies, we snacked all day, and I didn’t put up much of a fight to my 4 year old dictator. Even with my husband home, my son’s schedule was so off, plus the new baby. It was basically torture.

Christmas break came around, and I was dreading two weeks with both kids. While I couldn’t fix the sleep depravation, I could provide the needed structure for my son so he didn’t go bat crazy. Thus, the visual schedule. I created one that would fit our family needs. And I did it in about 20 minutes while the baby was sleeping. And I recorded it as a tutorial. Yes, there were dishes in the sink, but I felt like a super hero!

The best part was, it worked! More structure, and less screaming. Sanity saved!!!!

Now, summer is here.  I just finished our Summer Calendar (Thanks to @overwhelmed_mom www.overwhelmed-mom.com) and my Summer Visual Schedule. (Insert hero type feeling and cheers)

I want you to enjoy some sanity  this summer, give your kiddo some structure and generally just feel like a hero. Try creating your own visual schedule with Google Docs. Enjoy my tutorial video, examples, and feel free to use my template.

The biggest suggestion that I can give is that a visual schedule won’t help if you just hang it on the wall. (I keep a digital copy on my phone for easy access.)

For it to work, you need to:

  • Read it together
  • Repeat it out loud (if child is verbal)
  • Reference it frequently (don’t repeat yourself – point to the schedule)

Example Schedules (Free for at home use – but they are pretty specific to my household)

Example of Home Schedule – PDF – VisualSchedule-Home

Example of Potty Schedule PDF – VisualSchedule-Home-Potty

Template – OPEN SOURCE – CopyofVisualSchedule-Template

Template – WORD Document – CopyofVisualSchedule-Template

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!

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Writing an email to your child’s teacher: Conquering emotion and being effective

How do you write an email to your child’s teacher? Seems simple enough, right? Just type up your thoughts and hit send. But you might be surprised at the handful of oddly worded, grumpy, or just plain mean emails even an amazing teacher, ehem.. like myself, might receive.

I feel I have a unique perspective on the matter: I have been teaching for the last 7 years and I have a child who recently started attending school and has unique needs. In reality, parent-teacher communication is a part of my daily life, on both sides of the fence. While I will be the first to admit that I am not an expert, I do have a few thoughts on the matter.

 

As a Teacher

 

Awhile back, I received and email that started out with “Don’t you realize….” and proceeded with a large list of complaints that ended with a demand.

Here is the context: I received this email on my phone. I saw it pop up on my phone at 7:30am as I was walking my own child to his classroom to start his day. I was immediately flustered, and fought the urge to view it right then. Instead, I focused on my kiddo’s normal routine, rushed to my school to be “on duty” and then start my first period class. But with three simple words, a parent immediately set me on the defensive, regardless of the content that followed. As I read the email, I realized they had read my last email wrong. I send out weekly emails to all my classes. I wanted to be snippy and reply “Do you realize this email was intended for ALL of my 130 students and their parents as a reminder of their homework” but I took a breath, held my tongue, and decided to type a point by point response on my planning period.

Less than an hour later, the head of one department politely interrupted my class. She had received a phone call from a parent. “Had I responded to their email yet?” “No”, I replied, “I’ve been teaching all morning.” It’s rather embarrassing to have a parent “go over your head.” In the end, I typed my response, the parent seemed satisfied, and the student’s needs were being met. But I did spend the majority of the morning rather tense.

Truth: Teachers have feelings and we take our job seriously. And we honestly love your kid, even when they are tough.  – I lose sleep worrying about your child. I feel deeply. My job often interrupts my personal life.

As a teacher, I try to remember this: 

  1. That child is the center of that parent’s universe. The fact they contacted you means they care, even if they reacted out of emotion. They are their child’s advocate and safety net. It’s a big job and it’s tough. (These words were on repeat in my head as I read and re-read that particular email)
  2. Be both professional and sensitive when you choose your words. The behaviors and struggles you see with that child, are often worse and harder at home. (This was actually advice a teacher gave me when I first started teaching, and has proven time an again to be true)

Flip side – As a Parent

I email my son’s teacher on a weekly basis. But, a few weeks ago, he went from doing really well to three epic meltdowns in three days. One was bad enough they called my husband, who happens to be the primary contact since he can actually answer his phone and leave work during the day. By the third day, I wanted to scream, “What’s wrong! What changed! Why is my little boy so angry!” Instead, I took a deep breath and thought back to how I wished more parents would respond to me.

I structured a response using a few guidelines I set for myself:

  1. Don’t take an accusatory tone. Placing blame won’t solve anything and immediately places a teacher on the defensive. Just say what happened.
  2. Let them know what you noticed and ask them what they suggest as solutions. Remember: You are the expert on your child but they are the expert in the classroom. Feel free to offer suggestions, but sometimes what works at home is hard to adapt to the classroom environment.
  3. End or begin each email with some form of gratitude or appreciation. Most teachers are trying their absolute best even on a rough day.
    I have a friend, who posts on her social media all the amazing things that her child’s teacher does to meet his individualized needs. Yes! Your teacher would love you to brag on them when they go above and beyond, not just gripe when we mess up.
  4. After your email is sent, allow processing time. Our district asks us to respond to parent emails within 24 hours. I’m sure other’s have similar rules. Don’t expect an immediate response, even though you might get it. The teacher is in a classroom full of students. We rarely have time to use the restroom, except on our designated planning period. If it’s that urgent: call the teacher. And don’t go over their head until you have given them time to respond.

So, my email looked something like this:

Thank you for keeping us updated and handling the meltdowns this week. Since he had three meltdowns in a row this week and none last week,  I’m not sure what is different. I noticed, each day he had meltdown, he didn’t each his lunch. Is he eating the school snack? At home, his meltdowns are worse when he doesn’t eat much. Could this be a factor? What could we do about it?

We actually had about three emails back and forth, but in the end the teacher suggested he take a sensory break before lunch. And it helped. Problem solved… until the next one arises.
In the end, I’m glad to be working for a district whose motto is “To love every child.” I’m doing my best to follow that in my classroom. In return, my hope is that my child will be loved and cared for by his teachers. After all, It takes a village!

 

sbhWelcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo! Want to join in on next month’s Sensory Blog Hop? Click here!


B2SB… More than just a backpack

Back to School Blast (B2SB)



Last year, I volunteered at Back to School Blast and helped hand out fully loaded backpacks to students who needed them. My church spearheaded this idea, and has since been joined by several other churches and sponsors. It’s a big deal! 

What I loved was the joy and almost party feel. Yes, there were long lines, but it felt like a celebration. More like Christmas. Not like charity. If you had a need, you showed up. No need to bring proof of income or prove your neediness. You need it, just come. And we will join you. 

I’m a teacher, so I immediately noticed the joy in the elementary kids. “My own pencils! You mean I don’t have to share? I get to pick the color of the backpack!?! Pick out new shoes?!?” 

The middle and high schoolers hang back. Their excitement is less noticeable. After all, they are hiding it. I mean, they assume everyone is looking at them. But once the get a volunteer’s gentle smile or encouragement they light up. You might even see a smile or get a hug. If not, it’s not because they don’t want to. They just have to play it cool. 

These backpacks aren’t just a handout. They are a choice. They are support and empowerment to be productive in school. To not start out behind. To not be the kid that never bring supplies, and sits quietly, waiting for someone to notice. 

We live I in a great district. I know plenty of teachers, who year after year, buy supplies for the kids who show up with nothing. It’s done discreetly, they spend their own money, and they get no applause.  

Last year was the first year, since working in private school, I didn’t blow my budget buying supplies. The overwhelming majority of my students showed up with stuff. They joyfully pulled out their own pencils and papers. I noticed the brands that came from the B2SB. I was so glad to see it. 

Of course, there is the kid who shows up without supplies. Perhaps, his parents didn’t hear about it or couldn’t make the event. Luckily, their were a few leftover supplies B2SB left in the front office at our school. Each teacher was given a small stash to start the year off with. And extra backpacks were in the office. When I saw a need, I was able to do something for a student. 

As a teacher, I felt loved. Loved by my church, brothers and sisters in Christ, and by my community. It felt good. Too often teachers feel blamed, for poor student performance, testing, and other things completely out of our control. Rarely, do others realize the money we spend of effort we put in, and that’s okay. However, it was nice to know each one of my students, regardless of their situation, got to start off on the right foot. For them to feel loved, cared about, and valuable. 



So when you volunteer or donate to B2SB, you are doing more than giving a kid a backpack, you are displaying the importance of an education and loving your neighbor at the same time.

…
Of course, by March, all my pencils were lost, they were out of paper, glue sticks were used up, and spirals had been left on busses. I think this is why elementary teachers collect supplies. I tell ya, middle schoolers are just unorganized messes! I fit right in. At that point I bought more, used personal money and whatever small department supplies we had. But by golly  we made it to March! 

Be sure to join in! Join with your community. Even if your town doesn’t have a similar program you can still meet student’s needs. Bring an extra box of pencils or a few extra supplies to your child’s teacher. Do whatever you can, when you can. 

 

Remember the tough times…

I don’t know if it’s the excess of school supply displays or the training I attended last week, but I have been thinking a lot about back to school. 

For me, it’s a mix of excitement and dread. Why, you might ask? Do you hate your job? 

The short answer is no, I don’t hate my job, but I remember the tough times. (And I really like wearing pajamas and drinking coffee on my porch!)

My mid February meltdown 

(originally written on 2.23.16)

February is said to be one of the toughest months for behavior in middle school. 

It’s rather rough on English teachers too. One word: TELPAS. “Texas English Language Proficiency Assessment System (TELPAS) to assess the progress that limited English proficient (LEP) students make in learning the English language.” -TEA’s website. 

My current week:

30 students (of 150) are missing a reading homework assignment. 

20 students needed to finish a test or other assignment. 

30+ TELPAS writing samples to plan and collect. 

2 students haven’t read a single. Book. All. Year. 

1 student is acting like he is given up on school completely and wants to go back to our alternative campus. 

One student called me a nasty name. 

They. Won’t. Stop. Talking. 

So, I emailed all 30 parents. 

So, I handed out advisory passes. 

So, I called parents and set up tutorials. I stayed late and arrived early.  

So, I held on tightly to the student pushing away. 

So, I attended a 1 hour parent conference and got home really late. 

So, I designed lessons to let them talk productively and set high expectations. 
But I still broke down crying twice this week after school. 

But I still contemplated quitting or changing professions.  

  

One girl came ticked off and trying to push my buttons. I stayed late to work with her and she left her book at home. She argued. She made excuses. 

I pushed and she read in her book each night. By the end of the week, she high fived me and exclaimed, “I finished my book!”

Another Boy showed up early each morning this week, book in hand. And despite his mom taking his phone away, (my fault, of course) still managed a smile. 

By the end of the week he had read two books and completed the assigned homework.  

The boy I told you about, the one trying to push away, he might just be my favorite kid. 

I don’t hate my job; I love it.  

I just can’t ever do enough – There is always more to do –  I always fall short –  I won’t be teacher of the year –  I work best with the broken. 

My victories can’t be easily measured. But when they happen, they will be celebrated.  It’s the end of the week, and I’m headed home.  

–

Then, you start a new year. Oh for the love of school supplies! New kids. Fresh starts. New challenges, but even better… New victories. 

It’s a love/hate relationship. But I wouldn’t show up if the love part didn’t out weigh that hate. 

Yet, I still think Walmart starts selling school supplies over a month early just to make me cringe!!!