I have a confession: I’m not that trendy. I’m not an early adopter. In fact, with most trendy things, I give it about a year before I even try them. High waisted skinny jeans were popular and even my middle school students were wearing them, but once I realized they held my “mom” tummy tight: BAM, I was all on board. Same goes with music, maybe a student recommends something or my hipster husband sends me a playlist. But I’m never the first to discover anything.
It’s not new, but I’ve been listening to Kings Kaliedscope’s Album the Beauty Between. (It’s like two years old now) It’s been on repeat since summer depending on my mood. The lyrics go like this:
I couldn’t wait for the summer
But now I’m missing the spring
And I exhausted the winter
Craving what it couldn’t bring
Painting the world to be hopeless
Painting it perfect and fine
Put what I want on the canvas
Every color I design
How do I hold all of the discord?
All of my answers collide
Fightin’ for progress in quicksand
There’s no truth between the pride
Nobody sees all the pieces
Tricky to balance a beast
I am a pendulum swinging
Still I know You’re holding me
When the sky is falling, when life is a dream
I fortunately fall into the beauty between
Only God above me, painting my scene
I fortunately fall into the beauty between
I sometimes worry I only write about the hardships of having a child with special needs. Yes, there are hardships. Yes, I have learned more and had to be stronger than I ever thought possible. Yes, my life is a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. But I would really like you to the see the high points and the Beauty Between.
- The ear to ear smiles
- The big hugs
- The abounding laughter
- The silly poses
- The relentless giggles
Autism can feel like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. Or comparing apples to oranges and your kid is a pineapple. While I want my child to be a functioning member of society, to comply with rules, and to have empathy for others, sometimes I really do like that he is square pineapple.
I like that he memorized lines to movies and books before he could speak in self created original sentences.
I like that he remembers… everything.
I like that he will hold me to a checklist.
I like that he sometimes speaks in a British accent for no reason. Or Australian. (Or at least no reason that I understand)
I like that he has his own little world. When he tells me stories of that world, it’s like I’m there. I love his stories.
I like that everything is an adventure with him.
I absolutely love my child, not in spite of his special needs, and not because of it either. I love him because he is unique; that uniqueness is ingrained into his very core.
So, what I want you to know is this: your child having special needs is not the worst thing that could possibly happen. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, you will grieve the life you thought you would have had. Yes, you will have days where you want to scream or pull your hair out or BOTH!
And yet, I will continue to write about the low points, the struggles, the challenges and share any strategies that might help others.
But I don’t want you to miss the Beauty Between.
When the sky is falling, when life is a dream
I fortunately fall into the beauty between
Only God above me, painting my scene
I fortunately fall into the beauty between
Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and Mommy Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!