Radioactive Elephant

Not just another “mom” blog.

When Quiet Time isn’t in Season: Ideas and resources to help you stay in God’s Word.

My quiet time isn’t super fancy. It isn’t Instagram picture perfect, despite my coffee cup pictures. It isn’t an hour long. But my quiet time is authentic, part of my daily routine, and fits my season of life. But I’ve seen friends hit a difficult season and the first thing that drops is time spent in the Word listening to God’s voice.

A three years ago I wrote about my quiet time not being quiet. (Link to blog post) All of that still applies, and a bit more; I’ve got another kiddo so it’s even more joyful (aka louder) around my house.

I have a beautiful friend and new mom who wrote about her adjustment to quite time after a baby. (Link to post) In her reflections, she found that God renews her strength even in her current sleep deprived season. I couldn’t agree with that more!

I’ve also seen the opposite. Friends who after a new baby or a tough season say “I can’t have a quiet time anymore. I can’t go to Bible study. I’m too busy. Too tired. I just can’t find the time. I’ll get back to it eventually.”

This makes my heart hurt because I’ve been there. Maybe it’s also because my quiet time hasn’t always been consistent.

I’ve had long periods of time where I wasn’t in the word every day, where I felt disconnected from a community of believers, and I made decisions based solely on my own judgment. Consequently, those periods are marked by moments of least joy, my least productivity, and feeling like like a ship without a sail.

There shouldn’t be a season for listening to God’s voice.

There are seasons to life. But listening to the voice of your God, your creator, isn’t for a specific season. It should be as important and as routine as being able to take a deep breath.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11:28-30 MSG

So how do I stay consistent?

1. Put aside preconceived non biblical notions of a quiet time. I grew up with a Southern Baptist Church Camp idea of quiet time: set aside a hour, be alone, be outside. Well, Jesus did go off to be alone from time to time. However, he didn’t set a timer. Waking up early, setting aside an hour is awesome but if your current season all you can manage is 15 minutes locked in the bathroom or 20 minutes during your commute, don’t feel guilty. Maybe you can’t swing daily, but five days out of seven you set aside to study. Maybe you can’t be alone. Maybe you need to study at the kitchen table while your littles are eating breakfast. Give God the time you have. Guilt stops us in our tacks. When the season changes, adjust and give more.

2. Build a community. Some call it having mentors, accountability partners, or discipleship but I call it my village. You know, the first ones you call or text when you need prayers. My hardest times have been when I wasn’t a part of a local community of believers (aka a church). Maybe yours is a Bible study group, or you text your BFF from college, a coworker or a Facebook group. But we all need someone to breathe truth into our lives.

3. Use the resources available. I remember when my only resource for bible study was a teen study Bible with a concordance or a Beth Moore Study. (Both awesome by the way) We are blessed to be in a generation with access to more: online bibles, online studies, a plethora of female Christian authors and studies. I’ve listed my favorites at the end of this post below.

4. Set realistic goals and be okay when you struggle. So, I’ve tried to do those Bible in a year studies before. I typically fall flat on my face in March. Between reading Leviticus and Deuteronomy during what I would call the hardest month for teachers, I get so far behind, I just quit. I need to admit it’s too hard, and set reasonable and achievable goals. A more achievable goal is just being in the word every day. Start one study and finish. Then another. Even if I don’t finish on the exact time table laid out. I’m an English teacher, and I have a twenty book challenge for my students: read twenty books in the course of a school year. But even those who don’t reach twenty typically have read more than the year before. They improved. The same goes for Bible reading: read a little bit more than before, know a bit more, be a bit stronger.

5. Respond in a unique way. Annotate, journal, sing, write, use colored pens! Okay, the colored pens is optional but truthfully the brain processes information better when we respond: talk it out, write it down, make notes. My mother’s bible was filled with notes in the margins. My digital bible has highlighted notes. My good friend does creative bible journaling. (Link here) IF Equip Bible study also offers creative ways to respond to the question of the day. However you choose to respond, those responses serve as a sign post of your thinking. I’m encouraged to keep going when I see where I’ve been.

You may have days when you get busy. Or a week of craziness where you forget. It happens. But hard moments are when you need truth the most. Make hearing from God part of your daily routine so when those hard moments come you aren’t scrounging around and grasping for nuggets of truth because they are already hidden in your heart.

 

Resources

  1. A Good Bible
    1. She Reads Truth Bible – I had a Teen study Bible in High school, An Oxford Annotated Bible in College. This is my season for a beautiful, easy to read Bible. This one is perfect. It has built in study plans and devotionals.
  2. Online Bible Studies (I use the APPs on my phone)
    1. IF Gathering/IF Equip – The app is super easy to use (and FREE) and you can respond through comments to a community of believers. The studies are engaging, current, and have deep, thought provoking questions. They also sell their studies on paper if you prefer.
    2. She Reads Truth – The app has several plans available for free, but I subscribe for a monthly cost less than a cup of coffee. Current plans are free online. I love the images they have and the lock screens you can add to your phone to help you memorize scripture. They also have BEAUTIFUL print studies. I typically only order those for Advent or Easter.
    3. YouVersion The Bible APP– An oldie but a goodie. Besides having the entire bible digitally and in multiple translations, they also have a plethora of plans of study you can try.
  3. Print Devotionals & Bible Studies
    1. Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are – This is the kind of Devotional I can go back to year after year. It’s year long but it’s short and perfect to pick up when you are in between studies.
    2. 100 Days to Brave –  Annie Downs writes more towards a single woman’s life, however I love her heart. I bought this devo for my sister in law.
    3. Proven:Where Christ’s Abundance Meets Our Great Need   –   I did this study with a fiend. It’s really good. All of Jennie Allens’s studies push you to go really deep.  I would love to do her newest study: Made for This: 40 Days to Living Your Purpose
    4. Unshakable: 365 Devotions for Finding Unwavering Strength in God’s Word  – I haven’t done this one yet – but it’s on my wish list!
    5. Seamless:Understanding the Bible as One Complete Story  I haven’t done this study but I have had friends who have – perfect if you want to gain an understanding of the Bible as a whole.
    6. Looking for Lovely – I read the book but they study just goes deeper and ask questions. Perfect for a group to do together.
  4. Inspiring Books, Audio Books & Podcasts: I use Audible for audiobooks from my favorite authors and listen to podcasts. (Note: I’m not really a podcast person, but it fits my season with littles and driving in the car so I’m trying) I realize that an inspiring book or podcast might not fit into your idea of “quiet time” but I have found that ANYTHING that put my thinking on God can ignite my passion and love for him. Always balance the voices of others, even inspiring people, with scripture.
    1.  I would recommend Jen Hatmaker (she narrates her own books and is hysterical) – A little over a year and half ago my 13 month old daughter was hospitalized with RSV and pneumonia. We were in the hospital for a week. I wasn’t sleeping. I was non stop holding her and woke up by nurses. This wasn’t the best situation for a traditional Bible study, but I needed some positivity. I downloaded her new book on Audible: Mess and Moxie: Wrangling Delight Out of This Wild and Glorious Life . I laughed, I cried, I prayed, I stayed positive in a disheartening situation. Her podcast is pretty awesome too. It runs the gamut between serious theology questions (such as the episode with Bob Goff) or just for fun (clothes recommendations, book series and reading lists). And because it frequents notable guest speakers it’s always exciting.
    2. Any author you love but don’t have time to read their book: audio book! Some of my favorite inspiring authors are: (This in no way is a complete list, but it’s a few of my recent favorites)
      1. Shawna Niequist – Present Over Perfect:Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living I loved this book so much I’m excited to read next one: Bread and Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table with Recipes
      2. Christine Caine – Undaunted: Daring to do what God calls you to do  (I haven’t read yet, but it’s on my wish list)
      3. Angie Smith – Chasing God – I love Angie’s heart a raw vulnerability.
      4. Annie Downs – Looking for Lovely There is a few chapters that changed my thinking: I watched the sunrise as I read Psalms and I painted my toenails as I prayed! (Also a bible study edition available )
      5. Rachel Hollis – Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be – A little edgyer, but she kept it real, and very motivational. She has a new book out I want to read: Girl Stop Apologizing. 
      6. Emily Ley – Grace, Not Perfection: Embracing Simplicity, Celebrating Joy – Her life seems picture perfect, at that’s hard for me to swallow considering I live in “hot mess” zone. But if she needed grace, I do too. I took away nuggets of truth from her, including starting a photo memory spot to reflect on my joy.
      7. Chip and Joanna Gains – The Magnolia Story -Their story is beautiful and inspiring. They speak openly about the  moments the listened to God’s voice.  Plus, the narrate the audio book so if you listen it feels like they are your friends and you are just hanging out.
      8. If you notice, I kinda have a theme going: simple living, celebrating joy and being who you are designed to be. But you really can and should curate your own list.

What books, devotionals, or resources would you add to the list?

2019: Let’s do this!

I like watching zombie movies and other dystopian fiction. I always try to figure out how long I would make it in the same senecio. I mean, I figure I would make it past the first wave of attacks. But as soon as I got hurt, the temperature got too cold, I had to sleep outside or go without a snack for more than 5 minutes… I would be done. I would die of a cold or something lame.

I’ve never thought of myself as physically tough. I wanted my word for the year to be strength. I want strength! Because the going has been tough in some places.

Like in the last couple of months. Back to school time, as both a teacher and a mom, was arduous for sure. Then, challenging behaviors, setting routines, teaching social skills to my 6 year old with Autism… yeah that’s been kinda hard. Well, not terrible, but just hard enough to disappoint me and interfere with my plans. One crappy school drop off, then I’m late for work. Again. And my two year old developed asthma. In general, I’ve been pooped on, thrown up on, coughed on and had plenty of minor mommy type setbacks to my daily routine.

However, I’ve got a bunch of wonderful parts of my life. Actually, it’s all beautiful. It’s just been a rollercoaster ride. Success and then regression. And I keep waiting for it to get easier. But seriously, I’m not sure it is supposed to be easy? Who said life was intended to be all ups and no downs?

But that’s what you say to new moms isn’t it? “Don’t worry. It gets easier.” And while you grow as a parent and gain experience, I would challenge that and say, it doesn’t get easier. Once you master one challenge, you get a new one to figure out. And then another.

Conflict and challenges. Isn’t that what makes a great story? The main character overcoming obstacles along their journey. Epic tales are filled with conflict and adventure.

Maybe life is just hard sometimes? No reason; It just is. And maybe it allows me to write an interesting story. I really need to quit comparing because…

“It’s rough all over Pony Boy.” -SE Hinton The Outsiders

It really is. Everyone has their own battles. But sometimes I fail to see past my own story, or I compare my situation to others far to often and create my own disappointments.

This year, I had a friend whose son suddenly started having seizures. Test after test and months of investigation, And then he had to have brain surgery. Her ten year old son had brain surgery! It was scary! (Now, he is doing amazingly! He is all good, and this NYE they celebrated life, goodness and the abundance they have been given. Yay!)

I’m just saying “NO” to easy this year. I’m not even hoping for easy, but I do want to persevere. I want to persevere in the tough times but also in the mundane, day to day, ordinary life challenges.

Persevere: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

I think I’ve said, “I’m done.” Like a hundred times this last month. But I can’t be done. I may need strength, but really I just need to keep going. I gotta persevere!

Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” -Tolkien The Hobbit

I can’t control the ups and downs of life, but I can control how I react.

I want to write my own beautiful story.

I want to listen to the stories of others.

I want to see the beauty and abundance in the hard pathways.

“You crown the year with a bountiful harvest; even the hard pathways overflow with abundance.”

Psalms 65:11 NLT

My simple goal: Read, Pray, Persevere and Guide

Read stories of those who have been there before.

Pray not from relief of daily challenges, but for the strength of spirit in difficult situations.

Persevere and refrain from saying “I’m done.” Go forward!

Guide Others when I am able too. Because we are in this crazy life together and sometimes I’ve got something someone else needs to hear.

2019: Let’s persevere! Then, maybe even I, can survive the zombie apocalypse.

My January Reading List:

  • Finish Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis (I have like 5 chapters left)
  • The Lucky Few by Heather Avis
  • The Best Yes by Luda Terkurst

Dear Church, I Don’t Need Your Special Needs Ministry

As a church volunteer over the years, I’ve seen the trends: youth ministry, singles ministry, recreation ministry, and most recently special needs ministry.

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

It sounds awesome, right? Let’s make our churches more inclusive. Let’s be more sensory friendly. Let’s educate our staff on developmental issues. All of these are great things and worthy of discussion in our churches.

But there I was as a “special needs” parent waiting.

Waiting for the church to change.

Waiting for my visit to a new church to be easy.

Waiting for MY needs to be met.

Just waiting for it not to be so hard.

We attend church on a semi regular basis. (I say semi regular because I chicken out on many days when staying home and resting is just easier. I love Jesus and his people, but… let’s be real here. )

We bring noise blocking headphones for worship, the same ones my son uses at school.

We go to a contemporary service, so a dark room, bright lights and loud music mean we sit near the back.

The Sunday school teachers are informed: there is a label on his name tag that says “Autistic. Prone to seizures.”

For the first time my son was able to attend VBS. It wasn’t easy. I volunteered so I could be close by and help with bathroom breaks. At one point, I broke out in a dead cold sweat from the anxiety. (Bathrooming a sensory kid in public is a challenge)

I skip church on days I know the schedule will be wonky or there won’t be childcare. (Many churches think kids over 4 should join their parents in corporate worship. Great in theory… but… not for my family.)

I leave as soon as the service dismisses or I sneak out the side to avoid the the large crowd gathered to fellowship. Even though my deepest desire is to join in the conversation, my kid pulls me to the car.

When will going to church not be so much work?” I wonder?

I’m caught in the tension between wanting the world to change to make my life easier, and pushing myself and my son to be self sufficient in a world that will never be easy.

I talked to our children’s minister before we started attending our current church. I’ve even been asked to be on a discussion group for special needs ministry by a dear friend who is a children’s minister at another local church.

What do you need,” they always ask?

A buddy for your son? A sensory box? Do you want to talk to the Sunday school teacher?

I don’t need programs. But well trained volunteers/buddies are awesome!

I don’t need a sensory friendly VBS track. Though they sound so cool!

I don’t need a special class. But dude, a support group would be amazing!

I don’t need sensory play boxes. My kid climbs me, rocks in my lap, and touches my hair. If you would like to volunteer to sit with my kid every once in awhile so I could focus, I would gladly accept.

What I do need:

I need relationships. I need a buddy, sometimes more than he does. I need someone to notice me and really ask me how it’s going and how they can help. I need someone to instead of saying, “Looks like you have your hands full.” To offer to walk with me and my kids to the car. I think if we trained our church staff and volunteers to invest in others, really go deep, we wouldn’t need programs. They would see the need and meet it. And special needs family are so unique, so diverse: each one has different needs. You would need to know each family individually.

I need trust. I need to trust the church so that I can be vulnerable enough to even ask for help or accept it when it is offered. Sometimes I still struggle telling people my son has special needs. He looks so typical on the outside to the untrained eye. This kind of trust only happens when we build relationships. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to purposely build relationships with those families in your church you know have struggles.

I need to serve. As counter intuitive as it sounds, it follows Christ’s example. But, I don’t need to serve my own child. I fell into this trap before. I was in the baby room because my child was. Then, I moved to the toddler room. Next, preschool. Babies are cute but make me anxious. My giftedness are preschoolers and middle schoolers. Crazy… but true. And now I’m leaning into women’s ministry. I need church to be my respite care. Where I can serve and grow in areas of my own God given giftedness.

I need to be understood. Maybe this falls under relationship, but it’s also unique. I have several friends, but I only have two or three I call or text when my kid does something unique to his situation that breaks my heart or wears me down. They never compare, or say it’s not that bad, They just say, I’m here for you. Understanding and empathy is hard. This is were training your staff, volunteers, heck the whole congregation, on Autism, ADHD, child development and similar needs would be extremely helpful. You know that kid bouncing the entire church service? He heard everything. He just processes information differently and this big loud room was a lot to take in. And you know how that kid seemed to be okay? After the big event, he kicked, screamed, and had a complete meltdown on the way home. He was overwhelmed and held it in as long as he could.

I need open and frequent conversations. I need to be checked up on. How did VBS go? How did Sunday school go? What was the hardest part? The best part?

I’m not waiting for the church to meet my needs. I’m showing up, even when it’s hard.

But sometimes the hardest things, those are the most beautiful.

At one point at VBS this summer, we attended the group worship and music session. I looked around and felt the tangible Spirit of God and his grace. It hung thick. The children and volunteers made a large circle, 200 plus, around the sanctuary. Most standing and holding hands. Shy of two boys in my group who wouldn’t hold hands, but danced beside me. Then, Two little girls who seemed too shy to join the group but sat joyfully signing. A boy with Downs Syndrome and his mom sat in the center. And my son, in the lap of his “buddy,” his headphones on, rocking to the beat. All of these singing or worshipping in their own way. That’s true inclusion. Not everyone doing the same thing in the same way. But everyone included, joined for the same purpose, each in their own way, bringing with them their own giftedness. No one even saw the tears in my eyes.

That day was beautiful, but many are still rather hard.

Dear Church, I don’t need your special needs ministry, but I really want the relationship.

I wrote this openly to the Christian church, and not an individual church. I feel if the Church embraces relationships over programs there will not be a need for “special needs” ministry. In fact, the needs of an entire congregation will be met together: the single mom, the widow, the big family, the college single and more. All the sensory boxes in your foyer won’t get me to stay if I don’t have a relationship with the people of the church.

As resources for special needs and general encouragement, I follow:

https://www.keyministry.org/

Key Ministry promotes meaningful connection between churches and families of kids with disabilities for the purpose of making disciples of Jesus Christ. Their blog posts are encouraging for both church leaders and special needs families.

@sandrapeoples

A special needs family encourager and author. Church leader and mom of two cool boys, one with Autism.

@theluckyfewofficial

Author and public figure: Down syndrome and adoption are her jam. The pictures of her kids will brighten anyone’s day.

@lifewithgraysonandparker & www.lifewithgrayson.com 

Mom of two amazing boys with Autism. Seeks to find beauty in everyday life. Advocate for inclusion.

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and Mommy Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!

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Living Letters

I don’t remember exactly who said it, but growing up I was told, “You might be the only Bible someone ever reads.” The idea was that your actions, your testimony when you claim to be a follower of Christ might be the only representation of Christ someone ever hears. They may never actually pick up the Bible and read it, but they see how you live your life.

That made sense to me. It’s the culture we live in: relationship and authenticity are paramount.

As I was doing my summer Bible study through She Reads Truth: Corinthians, I stumbled apon a verse I had either never read or never read well enough to remember it.

“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you, or from you? You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:1-3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I don’t know if it’s because I teach English and enjoy writing, but this verse felt tangible.

You are Christ’s letter, delivered.

Not written with ink but with the Spirit of the living God –

Not on tablets of stone but on tablets of the human heart.

The contrast between the cold hard stone and the life giving, warmth of the human heart reminded me of similar contrast between the cold, ridged, old law of Moses and the warmth of forgiveness and redemption that Jesus brought.

Then, I went back to the first part:

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone.

She Reads Truth referenced this as being similar to our use of a letter of recommendation. Something that was used during this time period when going to a new town, or new church. While Paul is talking about the Church at Corinth, my thoughts were drawn to my own reflection.

Am I accurately reflecting Christ in my daily life? Do I daily radiate the warmth of redemption? Does my digital life flow from the Spirit of the living God or the spirit of materialism, consumerism and division? If someone who never read the Bible saw me, would they even think Christ was worth following? What recommendation do I give to Christ and His Church? Am I living by the letter of the law which brings death or through the Spirit that gives life?

“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:4-6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

But our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant,

Not of the letter but of the Spirit…

The Spirit gives life.

“I have come so they can have life. I want them to have it in the fullest possible way.”

‭‭John‬ ‭10:10‬ ‭NIRV‬‬

Were you inspired by this verse? Have you ever thought of Bible journaling? Join my friend, Michelle, from Straw-Bearie Designs as she adds a beautiful design to her Bible. Watch her YouTube video as she gives you step by step instructions of her journaling technique.