Hello!

This isn’t a “mom” blog. It isn’t a “religious” blog either. It’s not a “how-to” article, a “10 ways to know that..” or a recipe box. I’m not selling anything or judging anyone. This blog won’t win a teacher of the year award. It won’t solve all your dinner time problems. This blog is mostly for me. It is the outward expression of my inward monologue. Read More

Creating Visual Schedules with Google Docs & Saving my Sanity at the Same Time

I can’t say this enough: visual schedules have saved my sanity at home with my little guy.

I knew and used visual schedules when I taught pre-k. I had a pretty fancy one, and I had the students move a paper clip as we progressed though our day. It really helped! After the first few weeks, most kids didn’t NEED it, but a few did. Turns out my kid is that kid. The one that needs the schedule up… all… year… long.

I don’t know why I didn’t create a visual schedule for our home life sooner. It started with potty training. Autism Speaks has some great resources, including a potty training packet with a visual schedule. However, the designer in me thinks most visual schedules are cartoonish, chunky, and not very pretty.

I created my first schedule when my son started Pre-K. The transition was terrifying. Mostly for me! The schedule helped both of us feel prepared.

After my daughter was born six weeks early, our life kinda went completely off a schedule. As long as my son had a schedule at school, I was able to keep a sorta routine in the evenings. But then Thanksgiving break came along a mere 2 weeks after our week in the hospital. Insanity. My husband worked a few days of the break and I had a 3 week old preemie and a Autistic 4 year old all to myself. And I was running on 45minutes of sleep every 3-4 hours. I couldn’t deal, negotiate, or plan. We watched movies, we snacked all day, and I didn’t put up much of a fight to my 4 year old dictator. Even with my husband home, my son’s schedule was so off, plus the new baby. It was basically torture.

Christmas break came around, and I was dreading two weeks with both kids. While I couldn’t fix the sleep depravation, I could provide the needed structure for my son so he didn’t go bat crazy. Thus, the visual schedule. I created one that would fit our family needs. And I did it in about 20 minutes while the baby was sleeping. And I recorded it as a tutorial. Yes, there were dishes in the sink, but I felt like a super hero!

The best part was, it worked! More structure, and less screaming. Sanity saved!!!!

Now, summer is here. I just finished our Summer Calendar (Thanks to @overwhelmed_mom www.overwhelmed-mom.com) and my Summer Visual Schedule. (Insert hero type feeling and cheers)

I want you to enjoy some sanity this summer, give your kiddo some structure and generally just feel like a hero. Try creating your own visual schedule with Google Docs. Enjoy my tutorial video, examples, and feel free to use my template.

The biggest suggestion that I can give is that a visual schedule won’t help if you just hang it on the wall. (I keep a digital copy on my phone for easy access.)

For it to work, you need to:

Read it together
Repeat it out loud (if child is verbal)
Reference it frequently (don’t repeat yourself – point to the schedule)

Example Schedules (Free for at home use – but they are pretty specific to my household)

Example of Home Schedule – PDF – VisualSchedule-Home

Example of Potty Schedule PDF – VisualSchedule-Home-Potty

Template – OPEN SOURCE – CopyofVisualSchedule-Template

Template – WORD Document – CopyofVisualSchedule-Template

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!

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Not the Best, but Enough

Recently, my son had a little event at his school where each student presented their mom with an award. It said, “My mom is the best because… Most kids had dictated things like, “We go to the park” Or “She gets me ice cream.”

My kid wrote, “I like to draw pink.” Not me… him. He was drawing with pink on the picture when they asked him, and he was probably stuck in that moment. I didn’t expect deep though because… well, he is a goofball! After hearing his classmates say it during the presentation, he kept repeating, “You’re the best!” It was totally cute.

That same week, I had my middle school class make Mother’s Day poetry pop up cards. Anytime I do something family related I preface it with, “Every family is different. Do what works best for your situation.” My students have a variety of home situations. Moms, step moms, grandmothers, dads who take up the role of moms, and some who have lost their moms altogether.

Mother’s Day can be painful. It can open old wounds. And when we compare, we all fall short.

Comparison is also the thief of our joy. Competition is great for business and sports, but not motherhood.

I’m not the “best” mom. In fact, the morning my son presented me with my award, seriously lost my cool because we were late. Really late. Again.

Sometimes we lose it because of the expectations heaped upon us from others. But most of the times, it because of the expectations we lay before ourselves. The type of parent we want to be, what we want to achieve, the to-do-list we want to complete, the goals we want to meet. Before long, we realize there aren’t enough hours in the day, we can’t physically do everything, and we have created disorder. In the midst of our struggle, we have lost our joy.

Our God is not a God of disorder but of peace. -1 Corinthians 14:33

My floors are dirty, I have epic laundry piles, I can’t make it to every school event, and I’m just so tired some days. I’m great at some things, and stink at others. But, I am enough. I am enough for my children. I am enough for my family. I love them with all my heart. I can celebrate love rather than perfection.

So, remember you are enough.

Love continually.

Laugh hard.

Take blurry photos.

Enjoy the moment.

Celebrate love.

Cultivate peace.

Perfection is overrated and exhausting.

May the God of peace be with you on this Mother’s Day.

Food Aversions: A Struggle Not Understood

Food is one of my joys. Some of my best family memories are around family dinners. Sharing a meal can bring people together. But with my tiny person, food is a battle ground

“So your kid is a picky eater too?”

“He will eat when he is hungry.”

“He will grow out of it.”

I hate these words. I often feel like nobody really gets it. That no one really understands. I’m pretty sure most people don’t.

That battle ground has a history: years of struggle, an occupational therapy diagnosis of sensory aversion, and a diagnosis of autism with restrictive and repetitive behaviors.

My kid actually started loosing significant weight at age 2 due to him not eating anything I was fixing. Then, the doctor suggested feeding him whatever he would actually eat. And lots of it. So I did.

Then we fell into the “only eating a handful of things” trap. All of which had the exact same texture.
My friends suggest we go to a kid friendly place so my son can eat. I laugh. They mean well, but that won’t help.

Now, my son eats between 5-15 foods, none of which are on any menu. Recently he asked the guy at Chicken Express for peanut butter crackers. I don’t think he really heard him, but my husband and I had a good laugh. I have gotten really good at bringing his food to restaurants. I used to order an extra plate and act like I’m going to share my food just so we don’t stand out. Nowadays, I don’t even care.

Our current menu:

Peanut butter crackers (protein)
Waffles
Cereal
Chips
Crackers
Cereal bars
Muffins (you can hide a lot in a muffin)
Yogurt
Puréed fruits and veggies (squeezable baby food)
And sometimes turkey bacon. If I’m lucky.

One time, I started full on crying when I say a two year old eating a banana and I realized my kid never had one. I’ve longed for him to eat fresh fruit, veggies, heck ice cream or candy…. seriously anything.

We started our OT therapy journey right after our son turned 4. We have been wanting to get private therapy for two years, but due to insurance issues and lack of a diagnosis, we had to wait.

I really expected therapy to just fix him. I had read many books and tried multiple approaches and nothing made significant changes.
After our first few visits, the therapist played a game involving food. She got him to eat a French fry. That’s right. I just waited months, nay years, to pay someone to convince my 4 year old to eat a stupid French fry.

He says he doesn’t like it. I feel there is so much irony in this.

Since then, we have been playing the same game at home. It’s nice to get him to try new foods. Tiny bites really. And it doesn’t work every time. It takes so much effort on our part to be both encouraging and persistent.

Food Game: Earn a smiley face for each, lick, bite, nibble of a new food. And he has the option to spit it out. The goal is just to touch his mouth with a new sensory experience. Our reward: 20 minutes of Ipad time.

Yes, we play with our food. All in an effort to provide new sensory experiences.

Food Game Round 2: A little more self directed. He wanted to draw his own smiley faces.

One of my best moments was when I realized he likes tea. I can take him out to coffee shops or Starbucks, because green tea is his favorite. But he just doesn’t like French fries!

I would love to just eat, drink and be merry.

Until then, he will eat the same damn things. Food is food, and calories are calories. We will play games with our food. And I’ll pay a therapist to get my kid to try even the most kid friendly type of foods.

I’ll try really hard to remember that my child is more than his self restrictive diet. He is funny, goofy, full of energy and lights up my life with his joy.

And we can always just go to Starbucks. Because my kid is just too cool for French fries.

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia!

Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!

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“Being blessed isn’t about things always being right, situations always going your way, or always having everything you want. Being blessed is about having the knowledge and faith that when nothing goes as planned, things are not right, and the going is tougher than you expected, you are loved by an immeasurable God, and surrounded by a loving tribe of family and friends who will support you, weep with you, and celebrate with you in all situations. It’s not about the things you have, but rather the love you feel.” – my thoughts after 5 days of having a baby in the NICU #blessed

https://radioactiveelephant.com/2017/01/202/

2017: Just Remember to Breathe

I see many people picking a focus word for the year. I absolutely love the idea. Others pick a scripture to focus on. This is wonderful too. Reflection, goal setting, focus and all great things.
2 years ago I attended a Christian women’s conference: IF Gathering. We studied together, prayed together, worshiped together and broke bread together.

Then, we took time to reflect on this question: If God is real, how should we respond? Mine thought was one word: breathe. Of course, I can actually breathe just fine, but I never really stopped to breathe.

Breathe: to pause, to take rest, (verb: when used without object) synonym: live.

In that season of my life, I was too busy, overwhelmed, and longing for everything to just be easier. When you can’t breathe, you can’t focus on anything else but your own situation.

So, I decided I needed to breathe.

Just breathe.

To Be still and know that He is God.

So, this new year I bought this new necklace with my old word for two reasons:

Necklace purchased at Hope & Arrow Shop on Etsy

First off, as a monument of how far I have come. The person I was several years ago compared to who I am now. A person who has started breathing again.

Second, as a reminder to continue to breathe. To not be troubled. To not let myself get worked up and stressed out. To find joy. And let God be God.
Seems easy right? Why need a reminder? Well, it’s easy when you are at peace. But when you are fighting your daily battles, it’s even easier to forget.

I don’t know what 2017 holds, but I’m choosing JOY. I don’t just want things to be perfect and always go my way. (Of course, if they do, I’ll be totally okay with it) I’m planning for the tough moments.

To remember to breathe even when screaming would be my first reaction.
To just breathe, rather than instantly freak out.
To breathe and rest, when accomplishing a check on my to-do-list would be more fulfilling.
To breathe and listen to God, instead of listening to the noise of this world.

Because when you run a race, you need a moment to catch your breath. And I’m in this race for the long haul.

This year, I’ll remember to breathe, to pause, to take rest, and to live.

What word or scripture stands out to you when thinking of this new year?

A fancy sandwich served with a little bit of grace

Okay, a week or so ago, I shared a cute picture of my dinner. I like food, and tend to take pictures of new recipes I try or restaurants I visit. Sorry, I’m that person. Most of the time, I’ve slaved over the stove and feel especially proud. Recently,I shared my food picture for another reason: I was 8 months pregnant, exhausted, overworked, and yet managed to fix real, hot food in under 15 minutes. I felt like superwoman. And lately, this superwoman has been feeling her cape slipping off a bit.

Well, I thought the recipe was pretty simple, but I had plenty of people ask me questions or for specific details. So this week, I photographed the process.

Fancy Sandwiches

Step 1: Gather your ingredients.

Did I mention the whole pregnant and tired thing? So this week my husband went to the store for me. I asked him to get deli meat and a good cheese. He returned with this. A little less fancy than round one, but he sighted a long line and the deli counter and this brand having a coupon. But guess, what? Still tasted great.

Deli meat
Cheese
Crescent rolls

Possible combinations:

Ham and Munster (my personal favorite)
Peppered turkey and Baby Swiss
Italian (salami, pepperoni etc) and Provolone
Or anything… seriously

Step 2: Roll

Nothing fancy here. Meat, cheese and roll. It takes 3-4 minutes. I like cheese, and put a whole slice. A half slice would work just as well, if you’re crazy like that.

Here is my secret, roll on wax paper. Not only will it save on clean up, but I have my baking sheet underneath. I just pop into the oven. This allows the cheese to melt out, get gooey, and yet come right up.

Step 3: Bake

Follow the instructions on your crescent rolls but add 2-3 minutes or until they start to brown. For me, this made my cooking time 14 minutes.

So, I had dinner ready in about 15 minutes and only 3 minutes required any effort. I added mustard as a dipping sauce and paired it with chips.

Sure, I will make elaborate recipes, with more than 3 ingredients, again. Maybe in 2-3 months when my body feels a little more together. But right now, I’m giving my self grace and suspending the unrealistic expectations I have set for myself. It’s more about relinquishing my pride, pride in eating healthy and fresh, meal prep and planning , and having it all together. While, it’s not an excuse to be lazy, I do need to find some things I’m willing to let go of. For me, it’s my meal prep time and exchange it for a 15 min nap on the couch after work.

Are you in a moment of your life when you need grace too? How have you simplified dinner time? Or another part of your life? Any great 15 minute recipes to share?

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